Different typesof dating abuse

What Are the Different Types of Dating Abuse?

Dating abuse is a pattern of behaviors one person uses to gain and maintain power and control over their partner. Many people assume abuse means that physical violence is happening, but that’s not always the case! Abuse comes in many forms—it’s not just physical. Explore the tabs below to learn a few of the common types of abuse so you can better identify them. Experiencing even one or two of these warning signs in a relationship is a red flag that abuse may be present. Remember, each type of abuse is serious and no one deserves to experience abuse of any kind.

PHYSICAL ABUSE

Physical abuse is any intentional and unwanted contact with you or something close to your body. Sometimes abusive behavior does not cause pain or even leave a bruise, but it’s still unhealthy. Examples of physical abuse include:

• Scratching, punching, biting, strangling or kicking.
• Throwing something at you such as a phone, book, shoe or plate.
• Pulling your hair.
• Pushing or pulling you.
• Grabbing your clothing.
• Using a gun, knife, box cutter, bat, mace or other weapon.
• Smacking your bottom without your permission or consent.
• Forcing you to have sex or perform a sexual act.
• Grabbing your face to make you look at them.
• Grabbing you to prevent you from leaving or to force you to go somewhere.

Escaping Physical Abuse

Start by learning that you are not alone. More than one in 10 high school students have already experienced some form of physical aggression from a dating partner, and many of these teens did not know what to do when it happened. If you are in a similar situation:

• Realize this behavior is wrong.
• Talk to an adult, friend or family member that you trust.
• Create a safety plan.
• Consider getting a restraining order.
• Do not accept or make excuses for your partner’s abusive behavior.
• Remember that physical abuse is never your fault.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring or “checking in,” excessive texting, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking.

There are many behaviors that qualify as emotional or verbal abuse, including:

• Calling you names and putting you down.
• Yelling and screaming at you.
• Intentionally embarrassing you in public.
• Preventing you from seeing or talking with friends and family.
• Telling you what to do and wear.
• Damaging your property when they’re angry (throwing objects, punching walls, kicking doors, etc.)
• Using online communities or cell phones to control, intimidate or humiliate you.
• Blaming your actions for their abusive or unhealthy behavior.
• Accusing you of cheating and often being jealous of your outside relationships.
• Stalking you.
• Threatening to commit suicide to keep you from breaking up with them.
• Threatening to harm you, your pet or people you care about.
• Using gaslighting techniques to confuse or manipulate you.
• Making you feel guilty or immature when you don’t consent to sexual activity.
• Threatening to expose your secrets such as your sexual orientation or immigration status.
• Starting rumors about you.
• Threatening to have your children taken away.

SEXUAL ABUSE

Sexual abuse refers to any action that pressures or coerces someone to do something sexually they don’t want to do. It can also refer to behavior that impacts a person’s ability to control their sexual activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including oral sex, rape or restricting access to birth control and condoms.

It is important to know that just because the victim “didn’t say no,” doesn’t mean that they meant “yes.” When someone does not resist an unwanted sexual advance, it doesn’t mean that they consented. Sometimes physically resisting can put a victim at a bigger risk for further physical or sexual abuse.

Some think that if the victim didn’t resist, that it doesn’t count as abuse. That’s not true. This myth is hurtful because it makes it more difficult for the victim to speak out and more likely that they will blame themselves. Whether they were intoxicated or felt pressured, intimidated or obligated to act a certain way, sexual assault/abuse is never the victim’s fault.

Some examples of sexual assault and abuse include:

• Unwanted kissing or touching.
• Unwanted rough or violent sexual activity.
• Rape or attempted rape.
• Refusing to use condoms or restricting someone’s access to birth control.
• Keeping someone from protecting themselves from sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
• Sexual contact with someone who is very drunk, drugged, unconscious or otherwise unable to give a clear and informed “yes” or “no.”
• Threatening someone into unwanted sexual activity.
• Pressuring or forcing someone to have sex or perform sexual acts.
• Using sexual insults toward someone.

Keep in Mind

• Everyone has the right to decide what they do or don’t want to do sexually. Not all sexual assaults are violent “attacks.”
• Most victims of sexual assault know the assailant.
• People of all genders can be victims of sexual abuse.
• People of all genders can be perpetrators of sexual abuse.
• Sexual abuse can occur in same-sex and opposite-sex relationships.
• Sexual abuse can occur between two people who have been sexual with each other before, including people who are married or dating.
• Sexual activity in a relationship should be fun! Get our tips for navigating sex and healthy relationships.