career v/s love : an emotional love story

Yes, you read well. It is really true. I think it will destroy my future and make me a looser.

Hey friends, How are you? What’s about you?? Leave a comment!

This is Anup from Patna and I have posted 5 to 6 stories here till 2015. Today’s my topic and story is about my own life. About fictious love that never exists in my heart. I think it makes me the worst.

Now, come to the point….

2011 me ham dono mere ghar pe shadi me mile the. Unhe dekh Kr mujhe bhut hi achha feel hua tha. Mai unse baat krna chahta tha. Wo bhut hi masum the. Unhe jab dekha tab dil ki dhadakan achanak badh gyi thi, othon se boli bhi nhi nikal rahi thi. Sirf dekhe ja rha tha. Masumiyat or adayen kut-kut ke bhari thi unme. Koi dekhe to Ek pal me hi dil de baithe. Bas unhe hi dekhe ja rhe the ham. Sayad unka bhi yahi haal tha. 15 ki umar me pyar ka ahesas kitna acha lagta hai n. Shadi me wo mere ghar aaye the to baat krne ki himmat nhi huyi. Bas ankh-se-ankh mila krte the. Sayad itna kafi tha. Bhut hi silent love wali feeling aati thi. Shadi khatam ho gyi. Shadi ke baad wo 7 din mere ghar ruke par na wo mere se kuch bol paye or na hi ham. Bas naino se baaten hoti thin. Fir 8june ko wo apne ghar chale gye. Unki aankhon me aansoo the, nhi jana chahte the wo. Sayad pyar ho gya tha unhe bhi hmse. Kahi-n-kahi wo bhi apne dil se samjhota Kr baithe the. Unke jane se dil toot-sa gya rha. Kuch bhi acha nhi lga. Bilkul akela-sa feel hota tha. Meri aankhon ko bhi unka jana manzoor nhi tha. Par jo likha hai kismat me wo to hota hi hai. Chhoti bahen se unke bare me pta kiya, to hmare kribi rishtedar the wo. But relation kuch or tha. Bhai-Bahen wali relation thi unki or hmari. Sayad unhe bhi baad me pta lga ho. Fir dheere-dheere sb normal ho gya. Par unki suart hamesa se dil ke Ek kone me set ho gyi thi. Mere bhi schools start ho gye. Doston ke sath rahena or apni kaamon me busy rahene se ham unhe bhut jaldi bhul gye par unke chehare ko nhi bhul paye.

Bich-bich me jb ghar me koi unki jikar kr deta tha to hame ajeeb trh ka mahesoos hone lagta tha. Unse milne ka man krne lagta tha, unse baat krne ka man hone lagta tha par hamare pass unka koi contact no. nhi tha or us samay hame Facebook, WhatsApp ke bare me bhi pta nhin tha. Jaise-taise zindagi katne lagi. Samay bitata gya. 10th ki paper hmne di or unhone bhi, result mera hi jayada rha. Unka paper me tabiyat kharab ho gya tha is wajah se unke marks achhe nhi aayen.

Fir 12th bhi sath hi kiye alag-alag district se. Is baar wo hamse aage thin. Unke marks hamse ache the. Ye sari baaten mere ghar wale kaha krte the to mujhe bhi pta lagta tha unke bare me or sayad unke ghar bhi meri baaten hoti thin. Jab bhi meri bahen unke ghar jati to wo meri padhai ke bare me or meri personal life ke bare me puchha krti thin, ye meri bahen ne mujhe btaya tha.

Unko dekhe ab 6 saal ho gye the. Ek baar wo mere ghar bhi aaye the to mai undino college ke toore pe gya hua tha. Fir wo jab chale gye to mai lauta to chhoti bahen ne btaya ki wo meri room me mere books pdha krti thi or meri PC me rooj net use kiya krti thin to Maine apne sare books dekhe, kahin unhone koi letter ya Number to nhi dala par kuch nhin tha. Afssos, khud pe hasi aa rahi thi ki ham kya-kya soch lete hain…

Isi darmiyan meri life me Ek or ladki aayi jisne mere sath pyar ka jhutha emotional attachments create Kiya or uske chakkar me main unhe bhul gya. Us ladki ne mujhe dhokha diya or hmane usse duri bna li. Pura 1 saal barbad ho gya tha uske chakkar me.

Ab to wo bhi yaad nhin aate then.

Iske baad hamne pdhai pe dhayan diya or graduation me admission li or maine 2016 me 12th ki or 2017 me graduation me admission li. Ek saal barbad. Sath me SSC ki preparation karne ke liye Patna rahene laga.

Fir december, 2017 me unke yahan Ek chhoti si party thi to unke bhai sahab ne mujhe specially invite Kiya to mai unki baaton ko kaise taal sakta tha. Fir main apne ghar walon ke sath unke ghar gya. Waha mai bilkul naya tha to hame ajeeb trh ka feel ho rha tha. Kisi ko jante bhi nhin the ham. Fir mai Ek bade se room me bed pe ja kar let gya or fir mujhe nind aa gyi. Thand ki wajah se maine kamabal odh rakhi thi. Sham me 6 bje mai jga. Kafi andhera ho chuka tha. Raat hone wali thi. Ab party me log aane lage the. Hmare umar ke bhut se ladke-ladkiyan aaye huyen then. Mai fresh hua or apni bahen ko dhundhne lga. Mai Ek kamre me gya jhan meri bahen akele baith kar tv me koi movie dekh rahi thi to main bhi movie dekhne lga. 2 minute bhi nhin huye honge ki wo us kamre me aayi…wo bhut gusse me thi. Unki nazar mere pr nhin padi par meri halat kharab ho gyi unhe dekh kar. Aaj 7 saal ho gye the…fir bhi nhin badli thin wo… Aaj bhi wahi masoomiyat, wahi adayen. Kya kahena us bhagwan ka jisne unhe is trh se bnaya tha. Fir wo meri bahen ke taraf mudi or usi waqt unki nazar meri nazaron se takrayi. Mere dil ki dhadkan achanak se bhut tez ho gyi. Mera chehara pura lal pad gya tha. Mujhe pta nhin kya hone lga tha..mai nhi bta skata ki wo Kya tha pr ajeeb si khushi ki trh mahesoos ho raha tha. Main unko dekhe ja raha tha or wo mujhe. Kisi ki nazar ek-dusre se nhin hat rahi thi. Dheere se unki aankhon me aansoon aa gye or wo unhe pochhate huye waha se bhut tez bhagi or kisi dusre room me jaa Kr andar se door ko lock kar liya. Fir meri bahen ne mze lene ke liye kaha kuch to hai to Maine use payar se Ek halki chata laga di or wo hasne lagi. Fir hamne bahen se puchha ki tumne unse  baat ki to wo boli ki sham me jab aap so rahe the to ham bhut der tak unse baat kiye pr aapke bare me kuch nhin btaya. To maine kaha kyon? To bahen ne kaha ki aap unke liye meri taraf se surprise ho…to mujhe hasi aa gyi. Ab 8 baj chuke the, party start ho gyi or sb log dance krne lge or sb maze kar rhe the. Mai bhi wahi tha or wo bhi thin. Par wo sayad hamse bhut naraz thin aisa sayad unhe dekhne se lag. Main unki trf gya to wo bhag gye or apni maa ke pass chali gyi, actually mai relative tha to unki mummy ne mujhe khud bulaya or unke samne hi baate karne Lagi. Mai bhi baate krne lga, padhai se lekar personal life, harek baaten  huyi. Fir sb sath me dinner krne get to mai bhi gya. Or mai dinner kr ke upar ke kamre me ja Kr so gya. Raat ko 1.5 bje wo mere pass aayin or unhone mujhe uthaya. Nind to mujhe aa hi nhi rahi thi par mai thoda sa soya tha. Upar koi nhin tha to hame baat krne me dikkat nhin ho skati thi. Unhone ruansi aawaj me hmase Kaha,”kaise hain aap?” Or unko rona aa gya or apne chehare ko dhak kar rone Lagi. Ye mai bilkul ache se smjh gya tha ki wo mere se bhut pyar krti hain. Maine kaha,”main achha hun, aap kaisi hain?” Ye puchte hi unhone mujhe bhut hi jor se hug kar liya. Unka hug bhut hi tight tha. Fir maine unse kaha,”kya ho gya aapko babu?” To wo sirf boli,”aapke bin ham adhure hain.” To hamne kaha ki “aap mujhe choro koi dekh lega to….” to Fir unhone mujhe Chora or tb maine unhe bed pe baithaya or samjhaya ki “aap rishte me meri bahen lagogi… ye galat h

Unhone ruansi aawaj me hmase Kaha,”kaise hain aap?” Or unko rona aa gya or apne chehare ko dhak kar rone Lagi. Ye mai bilkul ache se smjh gya tha ki wo mere se bhut pyar krti hain. Maine kaha,”main achha hun, aap kaisi hain?” Ye puchte hi unhone mujhe bhut hi jor se hug kar liya. Unka hug bhut hi tight tha. Fir maine unse kaha,”kya ho gya aapko babu?” To wo sirf boli,”aapke bin ham adhure hain.” To hamne kaha ki “aap mujhe choro koi dekh lega to….” to Fir unhone mujhe Chora or tb maine unhe bed pe baithaya or samjhaya ki “aap rishte me meri bahen lagogi… ye galat hai..!”

Now….
In conversation style….

She- No reply !

I- Ek baat puchu.

She- ….Huuuunnn..!

I- Itna ro kyo Rahi ho aap??

She- No reply !

I- Bolo, Kya baat hai?

She- No reply !
(Sirf aansoo nikal rahe the unki aankho se.)

I- Thand lag Rahi hai??

She- Nhi..

I- To fir ro kyo Rahi ho aap????

She(slowly)- Kya Thand lagne pe koi rota hai Kya???

I- Pta nhin…!

Again,
I- Kya hua hai btao to sahi…akhir itni raat ko Kya ho gya hai aapko, itni Thand me Ek sawl odh kr ghum Rahi ho…! Thand lag jayegi to tabiyat kharab ho jayegi.

She- Nhi lag Rahi Thand hame. Hamne sweater pahena hai or upr see sawl bhi dal rakha hai.

I- Okkk… Ookkkk… Ek baat btao??

She- Kya??

I- Rona jruri hai??

She- No reply…!!

I- Bolo!

She- No reply
(Sirf aapne Sr ko niche ki trf jhuka ke baithi thi.)

I- Meri trf dekho…dekho idhar….btao Kya baat hai…??

Ab wo hamare trf dekhne lagi…
Room me night bulb on tha to unka chehra achhe se nhi dikh pa rha tha to fir maine CFL on kri.

I- Are, ye Kya halat bna rakha hai aapne? Aapka chehra to bhut Lal pad gya hai?? Kisi ne Mara hai Kya aapko??

(Actually light on krne pe ab sb kuch saff-saff dikh raha tha or wo bhut hi fair hain to unka chehra rone se bhut red ho gya tha….or aksr Jo log gore hote Hain unke rone pe ya gussa hone pe unka chehra Lal pad jata hai.)

She- Are mujhe kuch nhi hua. Bs aise hi Rona aa gya.

I- Aise hi koi rota hai Kya??

Again,

I- Achha, sham me baat kyo nhi ki…?

She- Gussa Hain ham aapse.

I- Gussa, kis baat pe?

She- No reply.

I(pyar se)- Btao na.

She- Bas Gussa Hain to hain.

(Yaar, wo bhut hi emotional ho kar baat Kar rahin thin.)

I- Kya Kiya hamne Jo aap Gussa ho gyin…?

She- ……Ek baat puchu??

I- Bilkul, Jo puchna ho pucho.

She- Girlfriend hai n aapki??

I- No…!!

She- Jhuth mat boliye!! Mujhe sb Pta hai…uski pic bhi hamne dekhi hai aapke PC ME.

I- Ha…wo..wo..

She- kya??

I- Wo pahele Ek thi par break-up kr like hamne, uska character acha nhi tha.

She- Abhi koi hai aapki girlfriend??

I- Nhi, waise aap ye kyo Puch Rahi ho??

She- Bs aise hi……….!

I- Ro kyo Rahi thi??

(Itna puchne pe unhe Pta nhi Kya hua ki unhone mujhe fir se bhut jor se hug kiya, bhut hi tight hug thi….)

I- Kya hogya hai aapko, btao to??

She(ruansi awaj me)- “Ham aapse pyar krte hain, bhut pyar krte hain, please…!”

(Main Bilkul silent khada tha…kuch nhi bol pa rha tha…awaj hi nhi nikal rahi thi….

Aapne pdha tha…

…..”(Itna puchne pe unhe Pta nhi Kya hua ki unhone mujhe fir se bhut jor se hug kiya, bhut hi tight hug thi….)

I- Kya hogya hai aapko, btao to??

She(ruansi awaj me)- “Ham aapse pyar krte hain, bhut pyar krte hain, please…!”

(Main Bilkul silent khada tha…kuch nhi bol pa rha tha…awaj hi nhi nikal rahi thi….)”

Ab aage…..

Fir hame bhi kuch ajeeb trh ka feel hua, ek-dusre se baat tk nhi kar rahe the…sirf dhadkane hi aaps me baaten kar rahin thin, hame unka yu hamse lipat kr rona kahin-n-kahin bhut achha lag raha tha, tbhi to hamne unko is baar khud se alag nhi kiya……!

Sayad wo bhi mujhse alag nhi hona chahti thin, isliye wo mujhe nhi chhod rahin thin……do jism, ek jaan ho gye the ham…dono ke dil ki dhadkano ko hm dono bakhubi se mahesoos kar rahe the….

15-20 minutes baad hamne unko khud se alg kiya…man To bilkul nhi tha ki hm unhe khud se alag karen par majboori thi….fir unki aankhoon me dekha…unki ankhe bhut lal ho gyin thin. Hmne unke chehare ko khud ki hathon me liya or unhe kaha….

I- Babu, aapke or mere ghar wale ye accept nhi krenge. Pyar successfull nhi ho payega hmara or aapka….!

She(Rote huye)- Haaaaaa….

I- Aap bhut achhi ho, smjhdaar ho….. Pdhai me dhayan lagao, pyar krne ke liye puri life paid hai..
(Ye line bolne me mere upar Kya gujari thi mai hi janta hun…mai kbhi jayada emotional nhi hota par unke halat ne hme majboor kar diya tha, hamari aankhe bhi chhalak pdi thin…..!!)

I (Again)- Ek baat kahun….??

She (Haaaaa me sr ko hilate huye)-
Huuunnnn…!

I- Dost ban Kr rahogi aap hamari???

(Ye puchne pe wo hme ajeeb trh se dekh rahin thin, mano hamne unse unki jaan mangi ho…!!)

She- Pyar or dosti me bhut fark hota hai…!

I- Wo to hai…par…par…

She- Kya..??

I- Thik hai, par padhai pahele or fir baad me pyar….!
(Hamne unki khushi ke liye unhe ye kahe diya qki mujhe pta tha ki agr mai unhe ye kahe deta ki mai unse pyar nhi krta to sayad wo kbhi khud ko maaf nhin kar patin or suicide kar leti…pyar hme bhi tha, sayad unse jayada hm unse mohoobaat karte the par relationships ke chalte hm aage nhi badh rahe the….hme pta tha ki agr ghar me kisi ko pata laga to ghar walo ki izzat mitti me mil jayegi…!!)

Fir unhone hmse hamara hath pakad ke kaha…

She- “I LOVE YOU BABU…. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH…”

(Ye lines AAJ bhi kbhi-kbhi hmare kaano me sunai padti hain, bhut khush hui thi wo ye bolkar hame, unki khushi ko sirf mai mahesoos kar skta tha…or khush hone ki baat bhi to hai…2011 se ek-dusre ko chaha tha or 2017 me perpose kiya tha…..hmne bhi unhe gale laga kar unko pyar se bola…)

I- Hm bhi aapse pyar krte hain…par kbhi jana mat Akele chhor Kr… .!!

She(Emotional hokar)- Aisa mat boliye…hm nhi jayenge kahin…!

(Or itna kahe kar unhone mere gaal (chick) pe ek pyari si pappi di…mai To shock hi ho gya…ye Kya hua mere sath, kuch smjhane se pahele hi attack…)

(Fir hamne unhe bhi apne trf khicha par wo daur kar bhag gyin… or jab hamne unhe bulaya to nhi aa rahi thi…fir mai unhe pakadne ke liye aage bdha to wo darwaje ke piche ja kar chhup gyin or jab main unke kareeb gya to wo kahene lagi….)

She (Muskurate huye)- Bhut jaldi hai….thodi sabr kro…!!

I- Khud kari to Sahi hai or jab ham kre to galat….hme bhi krni hai…!!

She- Kya..??

I- Jo aapne abhi kiya…!!

She- Kya kiya…??

I- K… K… Kiss….!!

She- Hahhahhhaaaaahhhaaaa………baad me milega wo……!!

(Or itna bolkar niche bhag gyi, yaar ab to khud pe hasi aa rahi thi….pagal smjh rakhi hai Kya.. ….hahahahahahahahah…unka wo hasta hua chehra meri jaan nikal raha tha….bhut hi khoobsoorat, masom, chanchal, pagal, pyari hain wo….unke bina chain kha…)

(Fir mai so gya…. subah hame nikalna tha to hmane unhe apni phone number de di…or bola no call krna sirf raat me 11 bje ke baad….fir unhone ok kaha….or hm nikalne lage….jab hamne unki trf BYE krne ke liye apne hath ko uthaya to dekha ki unki aankhoon me aansoo the…to maine dheere se apne sr ko hila Kr kaha ki “mat Rowo” to unhone apne aansouoon ko ponchha or ek halki si smile de kar  hame vida kiya…. Pure raste unko yaad kr ke kate hamne….)

(Fir mai ghar aa gya…

happy holi friends 20/03/2019