i cheated on her

I was in 12th std…when i saw her in a lame business competition..she was hot af…i tried hard to talk with her and one lucky day on my bday first time she texted me on fb just to wish me i said her everything whatever it was in my heart and on 2nd nov she accepted my proposal. We were madly in love. She is from singapore so in the vaccation she went to singapore to visit their parents somehow her father came to know that she is dating me a hindu guy she was muslim.. So her parents asked her to ditch me and this is how she did..till that time i changed the college i met new ppl,new circle,new friends and i met one girl there her name is farzana ppl used to call her sexiest girl among the whole bcom section. One day she told my friend that she loves me and my friends asked me date her and yeah i got attracted too with her and i accepted her proposal but after 24 days i realized that i cannot love anyone else except my ex gf javeria and i broken up with farzana. I went back to jav , i begged her to come back in my life but she didnt come back because she was strucked between her parents and me..i dont know how could be i so shameless.. Though i knew that i love jav but still i used to flirt with farzana i was playing with two souls.. One day i got call from jav that she wants to meet me for the last time ..i met with her, and did some romantic stuff at my house nd she accepted me back. But her behaviour was totally from that girl whom i loved like shit. This jav used to search any issue to breakup i couldnt understand what was going wrong with her and it was 10th oct when i excited to celebrate our anniversary with jav but here is the twist she had my insta password and i doon what made her check my insta.. That day in the evening she found one pic of mine nd farzana she asked me whos this girl and i lied to her that she is my friend then she texted farzana on insta and they found that i have dated farzana too and jav ditched me and i got reward of playing with two girls and that reward was slap from farzana on the bcom floor in front of everyone.. To be honest i regret for cheating on both of the girls.. I really cry for jav but she wont come back i know this but i promise i ll love her untill and unless my last breath doesnt fade away.now i feel how much she had faced me and what i gave her dhokha.. I have lost my selfrespect… Its nothing like i didnt get any other proposals i got two more proposal but i dont want to play with more hearts.. I know you guys will feel like i am just a piece of shit yeah i deserve this too………ly jaan